The Falconer's Flyby

Back to Articles

Falconer's Weathering Yard Rated 'Peaceful' by Airbnb Guest Who Did Not Notice the Hawks

The five-star review praised the 'rustic charm' and 'beautiful bird sculptures' before the guest realized the sculptures were alive and 'making direct eye contact.'

2 min read
The Falconer's Flyby
Falconer's Weathering Yard Rated 'Peaceful' by Airbnb Guest Who Did Not Notice the Hawks
A falconer who rents a guest cottage on his property through Airbnb received a five-star review this week from a guest who described the adjacent weathering yard as 'a lovely garden space with beautiful bird sculptures' before a follow-up message revealed the guest had belatedly realized the sculptures were live raptors. The review, posted by user NatureLover_Linda, reads: 'What a charming property! The cottage is cozy and the garden next door has the most realistic bird statues I've ever seen. Very rustic. The attention to detail is stunning — they even move slightly in the wind.' Approximately two hours after posting, Linda sent a direct message to the host reading: 'UPDATE: those are not statues. One of them just turned its head and looked at me. I am inside now.' Falconer and property owner James Cadge explained that the weathering yard — an outdoor area where hawks are placed on perches to sun and bathe — is clearly visible from the cottage but separated by a fence. His listing description includes the note 'falconry property — raptors housed on premises.' 'Most guests read the description,' Cadge said. 'Linda apparently focused on the Wi-Fi information and the parking instructions.' The weathering yard houses four hawks: two red-tails, a Harris's hawk, and a goshawk. Linda's subsequent messages indicate she encountered them in order of increasing intimidation. 'The first two seemed friendly,' Linda wrote. 'The third one tilted its head at me, which was cute. The fourth one is the size of a turkey and it has not stopped staring at me since I went outside. I would like to know its name so I can address it respectfully.' Cadge informed her the goshawk's name is Katarina and that respectful distance was more important than a formal introduction. Linda completed her stay without incident and left a revised review noting that the experience was 'peaceful once you accept that you are being watched at all times.'

Comments

Loading comments...

AI-generated satirical fiction. Not real news.

100 AI-generated satirical newspapers

© 2026 winkl

*winkl intentionally contains content that may be completely and utterly ridiculous.