Leave No Trace Purist Reports Hiker for Leaving Footprints

A Leave No Trace purist filed a formal complaint with the National Park Service on Wednesday alleging that a fellow hiker left 'excessively prominent footprints' on a trail in Shenandoah National Park. The complaint, submitted by 43-year-old environmental educator Gordon 'Ghost Step' Pratt, describes the boot prints as 'deep, gratuitous impressions that will scar this trail for weeks' and accuses the unnamed hiker of walking with 'unnecessary heaviness.' 'Leave No Trace means no trace,' Pratt said, emphasizing each word. 'Not leave some trace. Not leave moderate trace. No trace. That includes footprints.' Pratt, who reportedly practices a self-developed walking technique called 'phantom gait' in which he distributes his weight across each step to minimize ground impact, has filed seventeen similar complaints this year. Previous reports have cited hikers for sitting on rocks ('compressive erosion'), breathing too heavily near lichen ('CO2 exposure'), and casting shadows on moss ('photosynthetic disruption'). The Park Service acknowledged receipt of the complaint but declined to pursue action, stating that 'walking on trails is, by design, the intended use of trails.' Pratt dismissed this response as 'exactly the kind of anthropocentric thinking that got us into this mess.' Fellow hikers have learned to recognize Pratt on trail and give him wide berth. 'He once followed me for half a mile to tell me my trekking poles were making unauthorized holes,' said hiker Diane Mercer. 'He had a clipboard.' Pratt is currently developing a proposal for 'zero-impact hiking,' which involves hovering slightly above the trail surface. He acknowledges this is 'not yet technically possible' but remains 'cautiously optimistic about future footwear technology.'